so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
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I smell like Captain Morgan and tears
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
You are the only person I have ever seen offer your other drink to the bouncer on two fors night
Bouncers are people too...giant angry people
Because nothing screams stable like yelling at a guy in a bar because last time you hooked up he stole your underwear.
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Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
The difference in our lives is summed up perfectly in that you woke up next to a 6'4" guy with an accent and I woke up next to an unwrapped piece of string cheese.
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
why does every cop we meet know your name?
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