I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
i told him he had the best dick i've ever seen. then supposedly i kept repeating "peter piper picked the perfect penis"
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
Just read my long term horoscope. I'm not gonna get laid for another 2 years.
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
When you hit the 45 minute mark of any argument about The Flintstones, you have to realize: it's no longer you arguing, it's the cocaine arguing.
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
Last night was just one giant freudian slip.
You made out with EVERYBODY.
Can I just bleach my life?
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
Just found a note on the bed that said "Dear mittens, had to leave early I'll be back soon."
WTF? Are you mittens?
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