At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
The only way I made it through work was reminding myself how many margaritas per hour I was making
Apparently i asked the cab driver how much the ride was going to cost, (he said about $25) then i offered him 50 to let me drive the cab...
The lady at walmart just said she is so happy im still alive....Was i that drunk on the 4th? Dont answer that
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
I left the brick of cheese in your car! Keep it at Moderate Temp! It's my precious!
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
I’m literally lecturing this class on professionalism, while my body is undoubtably covered in leftover cum from last night. I’m a fucking role model.
My dad is clearly baked off his ass. He almost sat on moms cat in front of her, zoned out while staring at it and said he wondered what it was thinking about. Now he's dragging everything from the livingroom into the garage. Moms not happy.
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
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