I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
Every time I stand up, gravity punches me in the tits. This is horrible.
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
My mom found your leather pants in our guest room. She doesn't want to know why they are there, she just wants to know if you want them washed.
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
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