You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
Dude a guy just showed up with alcohol and a bag of double cheese burgers. I think I found my future husband.
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
ohhh no, absolutely not. i am waaayyy too superstitious to have sex with the self-proclaimed "baby-maker" on father's day...
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
just had Stella and stale goldfish for breakfast under the watchful eyes of an inflatable cactus and 5 llama pinatas. Cinco de mayo success!
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
Let me refresh your memory. New Year's Eve in the back of my car you grabbed my hand and said feel my tumor on my butthole and at that moment I swear we were infinite
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
last night i was way too drunk and i was forcing people to let me tell them about mammals
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
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