OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell.
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
Is it really bad that my last patient offered to fuck my brains out if I gave her IV morphine...and I gave her my phone number and told her when my shift is over?
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
Randomize
