I realized tonight the smell of my dirty pads remind me of my grandfather.
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
I no longer question where these bruises come from... between the strip pole in the living room, the slipnslide in the hallway and our constant level of intoxication I will always be bruised...
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
Some guy just ate one of the dog treats. I have him a free beer. I love my job.
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
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