Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
Was banging my ex last night when his roommate walked in... We kept going. #goaheadandwatch
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
I walked into the bathroom and there's this 6'5" cop washing his hands. He looks at me and goes, "Heard you singing outside. Sound real pretty."
No more tequila EVER.
Randomize
