Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
I was trying to remember why my knees hurt then I remembered I was twerking on the countertops.
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
So from zero to dumpster fire, how shitty do you feel this morning? I'm hovering somewhere around trainwreck.
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
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