found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
Is it possible to make a milkshake in a martini shaker or am I gonna need a blender?
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
Is it 3pm? Or am I losing my mind because it's pickled in vodka and diet coke?
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
You fell out of his top bunk onto his set of golf clubs. After seeing blood on your leg, you proceeded to sing "the first cut is the deepest" while sprawled on the golf clubs
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