i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
a bus full of elementary school kids may or may not have seen me pissing off my front porch this morning
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
Found out I slept with someone who likes Pitbull. I really should get to know someone better before I sleep with them.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
I'm using my dog as a pillow. He's cool with it.
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
She couldn't find her toothbrush so I had to wait while she sucked on the 12 peppermints she found under the couch. Pretty resourceful for her level of intoxication.
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