did you get my message about your dog?
no... is he ok?
no, i didn't see him when i was being chased out of your house. check your drive way :( sry
that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
I didn't cheat on him. Cheating means finding out. I made sure he was at work first. After the guy left I got shitfaced just so nothing seemed out of the ordinary when he came home.
He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
Put an egg in my coffee filter this morning. I think I am still drunk.
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
New low: eating a buttered roll while taking a shit.
This is why we're soulmates.
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
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