you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
i had to apologize to my friends for being friends with me
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
You will receive a large, large reward, worth much more than the actual phone you are holding, paid not only in cash but in sexual favors, if you return this phone! Please respond if you're interested in cash/sex/or just being a good person. Thanks and hope to hear from you soon!
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
Oh god he's like Julia Roberts in pretty woman... And I'm the one who's gotta make a lady out of him.
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
And at the semi-adult age of 25 I have shit my pants. Not even drunk, just really late to work. Is this real life?
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
You ripped the leaves off the top of a pineapple then rubbed the rough skin part all over your face saying "this is how you mate with other species"
Randomize
