Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
Don't text me when you know I'm doing lines on my phone
there is a money trail leading from my bathroom to my living room.. the trail ends with a half eaten bag of chips with a note that says "magical chipz".. who am i?
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
I AM OFFERING YOU ALCOHOL AND THE CHANCE TO LET ME SAY FUCK IT TO MY RESPONSIBILITIES. HOW MANY TIMES DOES THIS HAPPEN?!
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
Just found a note on the bed that said "Dear mittens, had to leave early I'll be back soon."
WTF? Are you mittens?
This can only be settled by a dance off.
Then you guys just all showered together...?
I woke up upside down with my head in your ottoman and like a foot of space between the ottoman and chair.. My legs were straight up in the air... Yes. Your mother found me.
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
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