It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
I might come over. Something about you makes me matronly and I have this urge to nurse you back to health with soup and a blowjob
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
Well I shit myself on the way home from work today so there's that...
I have a bottle of vodka wrapped in a leg warmer in my purse. This is what it takes to get through Christmas with my family.
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
Randomize
