The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
The lady at walmart just said she is so happy im still alive....Was i that drunk on the 4th? Dont answer that
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
Wait wait wait. You are actually taking advice from this lunatic?
This is the girl who got a balloon full of cocaine through security no questions asked. Of course I'm taking her advice.
Valid.
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
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