How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
I was walking around outside with a basket of eggs. I feel like little house on the prairie: hungover edition.
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
She text me that night and asked how the dick was and I quote my drunk self "average at best"
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
So you realized he wasn't actually cheating on you and now you're trying to unfuck things. Or in this case unfuck Tom.
Randomize
