so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
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Left for charity run at 5AM. Saw a pigeon eating last night's vomit and a pair of shame-walkers in high heels. Nature at it's finest.
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
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We're like adult pinky and the brain when they decided that taking over the world is unrealistic so they aim lower by trying to get drunk every day.
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
He is a real estate investor who’s face I’m going to sit on.
What are you, a fucking toaster ?
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