im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
i really wanted you to get laid last night and i didnt think you were going to. so i posted porn on your facebook.it made sense at 3am
i just found an uncooked ramen noodle in my underwear
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
What is the protocol for an "i'm sorry I had my ex retrieve me from the bar so I didn't drive drunk" blow job
why the fuck are my pubes caked with bread crumbs?
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
Randomize
