Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
You straight up wore me out. This should be a proud moment for you. It's almost like my penis is asking for a timeout. But not really
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
Drunk him got in a fight with his wife he literally bought a plane ticket and flew to Hawaii. He just called me and asked why I let it happen. From Hawaii hahaha.
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
How was your night?
Fell down a flight of stairs. Went to a sex dungeon. Was approached by a man in a leather harness.
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
Where are you guys?
Drunk
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