Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
Her little brother walked in right as I was finishing and was like "uhhh hey there's a lunar eclipse outside"
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
There's a video of you almost falling asleep in a bar stool listening to Jimmy Buffett. Nekkid.
Did we kick in my basement door last night?
Yes. I think you actually bought tennis shoes specifically for that application.
Randomize
