It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
mom in a round about way told me to either donate my eggs or become a surrogate bcuz I need money.
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
I will now refer to my life as before and after I used Astroglide for the first time
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
I guess when the asshole said “I really miss you and want to get back together” he actually meant “I’m banging a Hooters girl behind your back.”
I hope she gives him gonorhea
Randomize
