I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
So after tonight I now have 6 Harry Potter movies left to get laid to. Before tonight it was 8. Fucking right
Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
He went out to smoke and when he came back I was still in the same spot naked and unable to breathe.
All I could say was, "ladies and gentlemen, THIS is why I drive 30 mins"
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
Randomize
