what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
We've made a drinking game out of how many times the tornado sirens go off. We're good at tornado safety.
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
the best thing about long term relationship is that the fact that i bothered to shave my legs today counts as a valentines gift
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
Yeah. I don't know. I'm just gonna show up at her place on valentines day with a jock strap, box of chocolates, and rose clenched between my ass cheeks with "be mine" written across my glorious man titties.
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
Randomize
