dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
for on dont try to tell me you love me after three weeks of talking, for two if you are going to do that stay away from the song lyrics to a very good country song that you happened to ruin by using it, and for three erase my number im fuckin your sister now
then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
Oh Jesus. Are you going to the hospital?
No I'm showering then leaving for Vegas
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
I was trying to be good but he showed up with dinner and wine and I exploded. Like a bomb. A dirty, sexy bomb
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