I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
Aside from the fact that im drinking wine straight from the bottle to save doing dishes, im also standing in front of the oven to save turning on the heater. its gonna be a rough winter.
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
Note to self: make sure the door is locked before the handcuffs go on.
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
Will you PLEASE get your mom to stop telling me I'd make a great husband? She knows I'm gay, right?!
I know, but she really likes you. Have you met my brother yet?
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