If it wasnt for my iphone and loopt, I would still be wandering the streets in a drunken stooper. Thanks Steve Jobs.
Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
I'd like to say he was whispering sweet nothings into my ear all night but really he was just whispering "pussyyy"
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
I feel like a Europe failure cause I'm coming home from the club at 3:30 and so many people are just arriving... Wtf? 3:30am People! Drink earlier!
It's a Tuesday.
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
Last night I got drunk on margaritas at an Irish pub and came home with only one shoe. I have to get my shit together.
You really know how to show Monday who's boss.
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
aloe plants are like gummy bears with an exoskeleton, but with healing powers instead of deliciousness.
are you on the drugs???
Randomize
