sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
I'm still pretty stoned. There are mini rice cakes in my robe pocket to snack on in the shower.
There is a 97.5% chance that my sketchy roommate is also a hooker.
So when can I meet her?
His cat watched us the ENTIRE time. Every time I glanced over the poor kitty looked at me as if I were pelvic thrusting her father to death.
I also told the pizza delivery guy that he smelled good. I must be ovulating.
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
Why do I have a separate credit card just for booze? Because I saved enough points so Saturday we are flying to Denver to smoke legal weed and fly back in the same day.
I was too lazy to get my chapstick out of my purse so i lubed up my lips with pizza grease. On a scale of 1-10 how embarassed should i be?
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
He licked me while I ate pretzels and chips. I was really living my best life.
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