Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
He just pushed one of his testicles up into his stomach and called himself lance armstrong. I can't make this shit up.
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
Your topless pictures make me question reality
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
I don't think we should let her have pot anymore. She ate an entire package of bacon half-cooked and screamed that it was al-dente.
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
Randomize
