There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
my one-armed grandma is doing the YMCA. you figure it out.
Dude I was fucking my girl on the couch and her dog came up and licked my balls. Does that mean we just had a threesome?
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
My penis needs a shock collar
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
That's good to know, because I will be doing terrible things to you. Terrible things, John, wicked, evil, maniacal things shall happen to you and I will have the audacity to call it sex
STILL COMPLETELY OKAY WITH THIS
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
Randomize
