she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
I'm so fucking pissed that I wasted my shooting star wish on him and his little penis.
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
I love you like a cupcake loves an overweight child, very similar to the mannerisms of a whole cake but personal, and minus the commitment issues, plus just the right amount of icing; not to mention the convenience of mobility, and only a smidgen of the guilt😘
All i've had today is coffee and ketchup packets. I need a job like yesterday.
I'm pretty sure my lung is caught on my rib. And I can't feel the left side of my face. Best. Sex. Ever.
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
There's times when I just want to bottle my farts for later they're so insane.
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
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