Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
She's in the hospital because she tried to steal a toilet seat from an outhouse and fell off the bank. We're gonna hang the toilet seat by the pool.
my still drunk mind thought "hey this is a really good time to stand in the middle of the street barely clothed in 20 degree weather at 4 am talking about the blow job i gave him soph year of high school"
You know it was a good night when you're lying on the couch in your pjs at 4pm having a pitcher of ice water for breakfast.
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
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