NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
If you're going to drink sriracha straight from the bottle whilst crying, at least wear the giant sombrero for the enjoyment of your audience.
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
Randomize
