I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
My bed smells like stale sex...I want it to smell like fresh sex, I miss you.
Hey are you going to the pride parade? If so get me a shit ton of condoms
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
He texted "fuck you" before blocking me on all social media. Come to think of it, that's also the last thing my mother said to me. Could it be that I'm the problem?
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
I'm eating animal crackers on my bed next to my vibrator writing about the hopelessness and depravity of humanity. I am LIVING.
She handed me scissors and told me that they were the ones with the lowest probability of having been used to trim someone's pubes.
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
Randomize
