Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
There r osticjed everywhere
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
God fucking bless the man who invented the vibrator. Bless him and all his descendants. I think I saw the face of God tonight
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
Sometimes having a penis is like having a really stupid drunk best friend. You see it doing dumb shit but you're just not the one in charge.
Randomize
