Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
i said i was sorry for his girlfriend's cancer diagnosis and he said "easy come, easy go" and tried to fuck me
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
Stealing vibrators from Walmart together was when I realized you'd be my Maid of Honor.
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
Nothing says "lifelong friendship" like FaceTiming in a sex shop.
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
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