Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
Topless wife handwashing shirt. Tonight marriage is good.
This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
i realized our last day of finals is on cinco de mayo....it's god's way of saying drink ridiculous amounts of tequila and wear sombreros
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
Also you know what's irritating? When the guy you're sleeping with refuses to like any of your Instagram posts
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
We're going to watch the inauguration and fuck. Or fuck and watch the inauguration, I'm not picky, just get your ass over here by ten.
Randomize
