That cute girl I hooked up with last night clawed my back to hell and gave me a hickey. I look like a white trash warewolf victim
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
Are you wearing clothes?
Fuck no, who do you think I am
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
The cops high fived after they tackled you
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
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