3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
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Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
They knew I had a party because the refrigerator settings were different, but they don't notice that we installed a new toilet seat so it's okay.
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What's more awkward than your little brother in law screaming, "I SAW YOUR TITTIES" at the breakfast table?
His step dad chiming in on the jokes.
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
Just saw 4 of my students at Denny's at 4am on a Tuesday. We all pretended not to see each other, as we are all clearly tipsy and/or stoned. Class is in less than 4 hours. Either i'm getting too old for this shit or they're starting on the road to crazy-town much earlier these days.
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