I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
He just did a 33 second keg stand with a fractured leg, busted chin and chipped teeth from running into a parked car after winning a race.
threw up in a bar last night and got laid on an air mattress. my bucket list just got a lot shorter
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
I'd be a gr8 surrogate. I'm gonna love your fetus
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do.
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
IN THE MIDDLE OF HOOKING UP, HE IS CALLED AWAY ON AN "EMERGENCY". FUCK THAT, MATT'S CAR IS NOT AS URGENT AS MY THIRST.
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
Randomize
