I can text with my tongue
I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
I think every girl deserves a pregnancy scare. Because then it just feels like such a priviledge to be bleeding out of the vagina.
I legit just did a jig towards my box of tampons.
Randomize
