so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
Monday: I just need a drink Tuesday: OMG no more this week! Wednesday: oh shit how'd I get drunk Thursday: I'm glad you've stopped the pretenses
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How many beers are too many "cause it's Archer Thursday" beers?
As I sit on the toilet at 4 am I realize tonight could have gone a lot better
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
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Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
I accidentally flashed three cops last night. Stone cold sober.
Like seriously how stupid drunk do you have to get befor you start finding dolphin lighters and shit in your undergarments
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
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