Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
I woke up covered in blue paint and my knee bleeding, when I went to return the shopping cart the guy in the elevator laughed hysterically. I'm having a good morning.
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
My drug dealer just texted me that his kid had a rough sleep and was running late to deliver the ounce to my office. Totes adorbs.
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
She said she'd heard about my nickname in high school. Apparently sledgehammer isn't as popular as you'd believe...
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
Randomize
