You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
Do you remember when I jumped into your arms and you farted?
I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
Her vagina smelt so bad I lied and told her that I was married just so that she would leave.
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
Dude. Some drunk chick just put an Aussie hat on me and was screaming at me in German. Her friends had to drag her away. Point being, I now have a cool hat.
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
For what it's worth, I didn't think that hitting you with a crowbar as hard as I did would break your arm like that. You should drink more milk.
"She's seriously grinding on him while whispering into his ear, 'take me to McDonald's.'"
Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
I JUST PETTED A FUCKING SQUIRREL. A SQUIRREL.
Randomize
