Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
she was so hammered she started drinking dishwasher detergent
I dont know whats funnier - that, or that we learned that poison control is closed at 2 AM
What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
The coke machine at work is laughing at me. Literally. I just heard laughter from the coke machine
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
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