Not a fireman, but good enough for last night.
So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
I just got hit in the face by an old lady love handle.
kyle and i were puking, simultaneously, off the front porch at 4 am, and in the middle of it he looks up, reaches his hand over, and says "knucks." And then I proceeded to fist bump him. By farrr the best time I've ever had puking.
every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
Look I'm sorry I stuffed your wife's bouquet toss but I won't have that weak shit in my house.
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
Randomize
