You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
She bit a glass in half.
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
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I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it.
Smuggling a beer bottle full of vodka out of the bar with a tampon as a plug for the top of the bottle wasn't one of my classiest ideas... but your hangover proves it was resourceful and effective. Your welcome.
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
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He bought me a burrito. I introduced him as "Horse-Dicked Jake" all night. My debt has been repaid.
What kind of present accurately says to my male suitemate "I'm sorry that I accidentally flashed you my vagina while I was super drunk"?
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
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