I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
Just watched a fat girl on a scooter run into the back of a bus head first
You are the luckiest man alive
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
He told me that if his bed could talk, it'd write a medical journal. Guess it's too late to worry about that now.
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
I just want to eat and sleep til I'm dead. I should've been born a cat.
The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
i now know why i keep getting pictures of poop. apparently someone put my number in a girls bathroom saying i am a poop lover.
you text any of them back? this is probably the most women you'll ever have texting you in your life. don't squander a good thing
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
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