why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
seriously who else gets carried home puking from a fucking mary kay party?
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
He's not replying to my booty call. Like wtf. You have ONE PURPOSE IN LIFE.
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
So I forgot to ask, how was that bartender you slept with two weeks ago?
Google chlamydia.
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
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