Hey dude. Went to the hospital. Call me when you get up
Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
I'm the catering manager, it's not my job to stop 2 teenagers from fucking in the bathroom. I couldn't bring myself to stop that sort of young romance anyway, that's what I pay you people for
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
I just got through airport security with 5 grams of weed in my back pocket. Either I deserve a metal or the government is slacking
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
For the record, if you sneeze while you have a dildo in your vagina and you dont have a good grip on it, that thing can get some distance.
Randomize
