remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
Todays lesson: Chew your food better when your drunk. I almost choked throwing up this morning.
I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
Lost my virginity dressed as catwoman. He was dressed as batman. Glad I waited.
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
I just wrote a self loathing message to self, wrapped my credit card in it, put it in an envelope, sealed it with another hate messame, and put it in my lock box. So. That's where I'm at.
Randomize
