I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
i'm sitting in the pool eating chicken pot pie with my little brother's friend. moments like these are the reason i love weed.
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
I hear fucking Christmas music. I'm going to find fucking Santa and tell him to suck a dick and shut up for the next month
Just realized my relationship wasn't even Facebook official and I'd already cheated on him. 'Shitty girlfriend' is an understatement.
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
Randomize
