so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
I have never smelled more like a drunk mariachi band than I do right now.
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
I legit just swiped right with a Tinder feminist just to get in an argument with her. Soo that's my Friday night so far...
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
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