Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
I licked your asshole in confidence.
You said too many real things and now I need to crawl back inside my protective fort of sarcasm, being an asshole, and sass
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
I just saw a woman give her infant whiskey tits. About ten minutes ago she was doing shots, and now she's breast feeding. Whiskey. Tits.
Randomize
