at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
Im sorry for drunkenly throwing your phone into the ocean. At the time it seemed like a good way for you not to text him
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
I woke up wearing a headband made of condoms. It was supposed to be a crown for the "prettiest fag hag" award I won last night. There is lube in my hair. I'm going back to sleep
Some old bald man is a 100,000 dollar Audi sports car just revved his engine at me and held out his phone at me trying to get my number. I hate the valley.
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
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