I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
im sober
you just pulled your sweatpants out of your bag and thanked them for being alive
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My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
Well, we broke up and instead of putting my shit out on the curb like a normal person, she fucking donated everything to Goodwill. So now I have to pay two dollars for one of my own t shirts.
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
I've decided to become a librarian so I can drunkenly quote The Mummy and have it be legit.
He went down on me for like 30 min and honestly half the time I thought about those videos where people can smash watermelons with their legs and I just wanted to do that to his skull
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