please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
Fell down a spiral staircase. Et tu vodka. Et tu.
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
Just threw up mid-poop. I can't drink like I used to.
Randomize
