is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
New low: just hacked my moms facebook
he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
I found a big gulp cup full of vomit in my freezer, are you behind this?
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
Omg I should get on tinder just to get some edibles in town
Randomize
