Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
I hate it when I can only see straight when I close one eye. I feel like that deserts the purpose of seeing with two eyes
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
I was on the verge of being completely over him and then he went and made his Instagram not private... ITS LIKE HE KNEW
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
I’m going to give his broken heart CPR with my vagina
Randomize
