don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
I'll probably hate you when I'm sober
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
I woke up this morning to my phone notebook open and written was "reasons why I'm a whore in chronological order" then it listed everybody I've had sex with in the past five months.
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
Ok roommate is officially weird. Just watched her microwave the same broccoli 3 times in a row and cry b/c she fucked it up. Wtf lol
OMG. Hung over at my grandparents house. Threw up on 3 T-stops, countless snowbanks, and the grandparents driveway. Was proposed to last night. Bruised from head to toe from falling down 3 flights of stairs. Debating my intelligence because it seems that "happy new years" is too hard for me to spell. How were your new years festivities?
I got so drunk last night that I drunk texted myself. "hand jobs are the currency of the future"
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
You fell asleep mid blowjob with my vibrator in your HAND. So no, I will not bring you pizza.
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
Randomize
