i was born a porn star she said
can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
he laminated a picture of his dick.
I just spent the last 30 mins playing uplifting songs to my uterus, & there's no way I'm pregnant.
Just got super judged by a walmart cashier for buying diet pills and candy in the same transaction. Like she has her life figured out.
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
Also- bikini mowing was a horrible idea. One truck just drove by 3 times, turning around at the end of the block each time. My tan may be better for it but my conscience has been raped.
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
Randomize
