i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
Why would I send you a picture of it when I could just steal the gnome and put it in your bed with you? Admit it, he looks just like gnomeo!
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
You do realize last night you asked me if shampoo had an expiration date then cried for 15 mins when I told you it did
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