i just wanna soil my oats bro
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You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
I think the fact that my first kiss is now in a porno says a lot about why my life is the way it is
Today I met the neighbor that shares my bedroom wall. When I pointed out my unit, he said, "Oh, that's you? Oh... that's you." I didn't think much of it until I was in bed tonight and I heard him clear his throat. He's. Heard. Everything.
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
Fuck I am starving. I don't think I've eaten in the past two days.
You didnt need to. Gin is like eggs, its a perfectly nutrionally balanced meal.
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
Also, I've found a new way to get drunk at work for free. Everytime I make a bushwhacker and there's extra... I put it in a cup. Its the Never ending drink.
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
Sorry didnt text you yesterday. had to put restraining order on my ex.
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