so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
All I'm saying is that your next houseguest had better not barge in on me in the shower demanding I wash the stolen dye from his hair. I'm not doing that a second time.
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
Randomize
