Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
There's nothing like vomiting in the restroom at work to remind you that you're not in college anymore.
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
I just found scrambled eggs in my shower. Thanks for that, asshole.
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
I went to the nurse and she literally told me I was too sexually active and wrote me a prescription for 7 days of pelvic rest...... Hahahhahaha
Randomize
