I'm at the store buying plan b and vodka
the cocktail of hope
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
I think as far as last words to bitter ex girlfriends go, "enjoy that staph infection youre about to get in your uterus" is right up there with the best
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
pretty sure 5 days for a bachelor party in Vegas is too long when even the stripper giving me a lapdance says "wow that's a long time!"
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
Dude so last night I was eating out my gf and her kitten climbed onto my back and fell asleep. AND SHE DIDN'T NOTICE FOR LIKE 10 MINUTES
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
You've changed since you got that strap on
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
Randomize
