i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
I wish there was an emoji for sad lady boners
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
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