the only difference between me and a prostitute was that i complained a lot more.
just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
The only thing I'm asking santa for is my period.
And vodka?
And vodka.
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We're both clumsy. What does this imply for our kids?
Helmets.
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
When I got home he was in his underpants on the couch, eating pop tarts and crying while watching Voltron.
Remember how we use to say "this will be the year I'll get my shit together!" And like we stopped doing that because we know that isn't happening anytime soon.
Nothing like having a family watch you dry heave at the end of the dock
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