I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
i'm watching the draft and making cookies. how am i still single?
Even after projectile vomiting watermelon on the beach, it still sounds appetizing.
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
I learned 3 things lastnight....1. Turkeys are related to the t-rex. 2. Whales have leg bones cause they used to walk. 3. I will sing drunk in the waffle house, but not during karaoke in the bar
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
Some guy walking down the sidewalk just looked at me and said "hey it's the world champ". How drunk was I on Friday...?
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
Randomize
