Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
What do you want me to say to her? "Oh hey, I need to borrow your soon to be husband to make a porn, cool?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
It was like god placed me in his bed and said," here's your shot girl. Don't mess this up." And I looked at god and laughed in his face.
When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The two girls sitting next to me are asking siri "Like, uh, how do you know my name?". Do I fuck with them or fuck them?
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize