dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
i gained so much weight this year, i put on my string bikini underwear and couldnt see the string anymore! i hate my life.
My 10 year old son gave me a bottle of jameson for fathers day. Did you have something to do with this?
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
I got to masturbate in Rome in a gorgeous hotel room. Don't try and tell me I need a boyfriend
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
Cover for me. Stopped at Chris’ for a quickie. Broke a high heel and there’s jizz all over my black dress. Fuck pornstars for making workday sex look easy
I am the image of restraint, it's why im just hungover and not in the hospital
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
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