I twisted my ankle last night doing a super high five with 3 inch heels on.
I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
I feel like I should be doing a victory lap around my house to the rocky music, or zapping and smiting people with my mystic wizard powers
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
I'm like 'WOMAN, YOU'RE 62, RESHEATH THOSE COUGAR CLAWS.'
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
He just got back from doing field research studying wild chimpanzees in the goddamn jungle. Obviously I fucked him.
Currently standing at the bus stop in just a pillowcase and its fucking snowing
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
Randomize
