i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
dude, it should not be this hard to find a bottomless mimosa on a friday morning
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
Too much dab too little lung dying 😵😵😵
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
OMG I DIDNT READ THAT TEXT CAREFULLY CAUSE I'M ON THE DEVILS LETTUCE & I THREATENED TO PUNCH A CHILD OMG I'M SO SORRY
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