She's like Mona Lisa when she's intoxicated. No one understands her but they all think she's marvelous
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
I will tell my future kids about the time I went to the bar with a stomach virus. Like a champ.
Ok fuckface listen up and listen good. 1.calling dibs on a chick out of your league is like applying for a job with a highlight video 2. dont fucking ski down the stairs again 3. if you do, put it on your highlight video
I think I left my chapstick at your house when I tried using your penis as a catapult and flung it on the floor. Be a dear, and try to see if you can find it.
I found a picture of me as a little kid with nothing on except a towel covering one of my nipples and I'm glaring at the camera. Literally nothing has changed except I have boobs now
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
My vagina is very pro this idea
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
Randomize
