Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
Reason #82 that I need to get laid: my pubes are getting split ends.
I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
i am not allowed to pick the men i sleep with anymore
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
Well supposedly when the cops came, they say I tried to get them in a conga line like Jim Carrey in The Mask. So....yea
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
I expected my Sunday morning walk of shame dressed as a sexy Dorothy would get some scorn, but nobody seems to even care
That’s because it’s 2020. The slutty costume walk of shame is a refreshing reminder of a time when wearing masks and catching communicable diseases was a right of passage, not everyday for the foreseeable future.
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