Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
Dan is more possessive of me than a Michael Jackson is of McCully Caulkin
was*
True, R.I.P.
neither the pictures you took nor my hangover explain why there are skittles in my shoe
Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
The fact that my boss lets me drink on my lunch break makes Mondays much easier.
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
We can only continue to use the "oh what's the difference between circumcised and uncircumcised" for a few more months before people will see through our lies
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize
