Apparently when he woke up I was tripping my face off. Everytime the cat meowed I would meow back. This went on for several hours.
So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
I just ate a whole bag of celery instead of getting up to get a glass of water. That high.
He has a chalkboard tally in his bathroom of "Me vs. Toilet". He's losing.
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
I just made a steamroller out of a christmas ornament. I feel so festive.
Was so drunk I had to masturbate face up cuz I thought I was gonna be suffocated by the pillows.
I walk in and my mom has a Christian workout program playing. It's like, gospel music with an "electronic" beat to go with it. And then they try to save your soul at the end. I hate being home.
I accidentally told my mom "the reason I didn't answer your call is because my phone was in my pants, on the floor"
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
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