roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
Not gonna lie, Wednesday was the perfect day to get laid off, all I've done since is watch the Simpsons marathon
I settled on "Merry Christmas! Btw you may have chlamydia". I thought a nice holiday greeting would soften the blow
She slapped a big dramatic bandage on my arm and people started buying me drinks...I plan on wearing a full body cast tomorrow night.
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
Randomize
